As I was on vacation last week, the Lord kept speaking to me about "A Father's Love". I knew it was a blog post title but didn't realize it was going to be about my biological father. 

I met my father when I was fourteen. My mother's parents raised me since birth and did their best to shelter me from the outside world, including my dad. As a child, I knew of him, but never met him personally. I knew him as the man with the bandana who went to yard sales looking for old 8-tracks and records. One time he came to our yard sale and my family rushed me in the house, out of his view. Occasionally I'd catch sight of him at the local post office with his wife, Lisa, and small children in their little red car. I was afraid of him at the time. As an adult, I understand now I had no reason to be, but at the same time I understand my grandparents desire to keep me away. 

When I was in second grade my grandfather died. Shortly after, my grandmother received a letter in the mail stating my father was requesting visitation privileges. They weren't granted. 

I became rebellious as a teenager and began dating the older neighbor guy, Willard. He was friends with my dad's family and encouraged me to get to know them. As adolescents, we rarely see the big picture and my intentions were not pure. I thought I could go live with my dad or his mom and they would be less strict in keeping me from Willard. 

I told my grandmother I wanted to meet my dad. She didn't understand and was very hurt, but honored my request. My uncle Dave arranged everything and one afternoon my dad, his mother, and my little brother and sister came to my house to meet me. That was the beginning of my relationship with my father. As the years progressed our relationship grew. When I was in foster care he would come to the scheduled visits and we would go shopping or to get something to eat. When I turned eighteen and was released from foster care, he would often take me to visit my grandmother and great grandmother. Afterwards, we would go to his house and I'd spend time visiting him and my siblings. 

When I left my hometown, my dad and I maintained a long distant relationship. I'd stop by to visit every time I returned. My dad and I weren't close, but I respected him and tried to maintain communication with him even though it was few and far between. His efforts to keep in touch far exceeded mine. 

About a month ago, I got a phone call from my step-mom. She had stopped by to visit my dad and seen he wasn't doing well. Being a nurse, she knew the signs she was seeing and wanted to prepare me for what appeared to be coming. The next time he called me I made sure to answer the phone. I knew immediately he was ill, I could hear it in his voice. Holy Spirit's presence was heavy on me during that phone call and I knew I needed to speak with him regarding his salvation. He told me he knew Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior and knew he was going to Heaven when he died. I had no choice but to believe him. I prayed with him that night before hanging up but I knew when I went home to Pennsylvania two weeks later something was going to happen. I wasn't sure I would see my dad again and was prepared to go home to a funeral. 

Not long after arriving in town last Friday, I stopped by my dads. When he didn't respond, I let myself in and found him un-responsive on the floor. He almost immediately came to and requested that I call 911. He looked very ill and I could see how much weight he had lost as he crawled across the floor to be next to me. I immediately text my step mom to let her know what was going on. She had been there a bit earlier and confessed to me that she had been praying to God to send help for my dad since he was refusing her assistance. God had answered her prayers and sent me. 

When I visited dad in the hospital the next day he didn't know who I was. He had just had a seizure a bit earlier and the nurses were getting him settled. The Lord was telling me to pray with him but I was stuck in a zone. I left, ignoring the Holy Spirits unctioning. On the way home that evening, I told Sedrick I would have regrets if my dad passed away before morning. Holy Spirit reminded me of a past experience where I prayed for a man on his death bed and his spiritual eyes were opened to Jesus in the last minutes. God was telling me to go back, but I didn't. 

When my step mom called me hours later in the middle of the night, I feared she was calling with bad news. The hospital was seeking advice on putting him on a ventilator and she wanted my thoughts. Immediately my step moms words came to mind that she spoke to me earlier that evening.... "I prayed and asked God to not let him suffer". That was my response. My mom was with me when the call came in and I knew God was speaking to me through her when she said "If he's that sick, you can go see him now". I got dressed and met Lisa at the hospital. She asked my dad his wishes and he made it clear he was ready to go. 

When she left, I sat beside my dad and watched him sleep for a bit. I put my hand on his and began to pray. Immediately his monitor started beeping and I knew it wasn't just my hand on his, but it was Jesus who was touching him. I prayed as Holy Spirit led me. I stood in the gap and repented for the sins of my father. I prayed for his salvation and asked the Lord to open his spiritual eyes. I bound every spirit of fear and declared 2 Timothy 1:7 over my father. The Lord didn't give him a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. When I took my hand off, the monitor returned to normal. 

The Bible tells us in Job 32:22-24 - "They are at death's door; the angels of death wait for them. But if an angel from heaven appears- a special messenger to intercede for a person and declare that he is upright- he will be gracious and say, Rescue him from the grave, for I have found a ransom for his life.' 

Continuing in verse 29 - Yes, God does these things again and again for people. He rescues them from the grave so they may enjoy the light of life.

As Jesus hung on the cross, he said "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." Jesus was interceding in that moment. That's what He does and that's what we are called to do as intercessors. We are called to intercede for others and that is exactly what I did for my father. I stood in the gap and interceded, asking God to forgive him of his sins. 

2 Peter 3:9 - The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.

As I sat there watching my father, he opened his eyes and for the first time he recognized me, knowing who I was and for the very last time he told me he loved me. I knew when I left there my dad would leave this Earth behind very soon and I'd not see him here again. The next morning at 11:25 AM my father passed away. 

My step mom called to tell me and after hanging up with her I fell right back to sleep. When I awoke, the following lyrics resounded in my mind... "Livin on love, buying on time, without somebody nothin ain't worth a dime". I knew the Lord was telling me that my dad was very alone here and really had no one. He and my step mom had went their separate ways many many years ago but they still cared for one another deeply and she was there for him more than any other. As I closed my eyes once more, I seen my father hugging his mom at the gates of Heaven and I knew he had made it to spend an eternity with Jesus. 

A few days later as I was sharing this story with one of my best friends, she shared with me that the Lord was showing her that the generational curses had been broken and the Lord had put a seal on it. I was now walking in the generational blessings. Thank you Jesus! As I sat writing this in this very moment, Holy Spirit revealed to me that it was the repentance of my dads sins that broke the generational curses. I know my father loved all of his children very much, including me. Even though our relationship was estranged most of the time, I have no regrets. God ordered my steps to be there last weekend and I feel the mission he sent me on was accomplished. 

I pray this testimony has touched you in some way. As always...If you enjoyed reading this and would like to sign up for email notifications when I post new content or you want to  leave a comment, or reach out to me you can use the Contact page. 

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May God bless you!

Holly W <3